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Veganism: A philosophy and way of living which seeks to exclude—as far as is possible and practicable—all calories of, and environmental waste from, animals for food, clothing or any other purpose; and by extension, promotes the development and use of plant-based products for the benefit of shareholders, yoga instructors and the green-washers. In dietary terms it denotes the practice of virtue signalling while secretly stuffing one's mouth with all products derived wholly or partly from cheese.